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Now take that experience and multiply it by ONE MILLLION.Sister, you have to go to EVERY show, you even have to go to practice! I asked impatiently as my boyfriend scrolled through his work email. You have to see about a woman laying next to you, I retorted. To prove we had moved to Phase Two, I had no such data. My boyfriend, like many a man, is a “thinking” type while I am a “feeling” type, so when I address a particular pattern of behavior that I “feel” has formed, he wants to know exact data points to support said feeling.I’ve also been told that I give good advice, though I don’t know if this is true of if people are just being polite. As I a child I just assumed relationships were something that just happened.As I got older and was enticed with fantasies of entering the dating scene, I discovered a seemingly essential piece to the puzzle that I had absolutely no idea how to master: flirting.

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You have to sit in the back of a van and unload a drum kit in New Jersey on Tuesdays. My heart did that weird kind of jump when you didn’t think you were being pathetic or nagging but his response indicates otherwise. He would kiss me and try to snuggle me at least for a few minutes before I would squirm out. I needed specific dates and times that he fell asleep without saying goodnight. In Phase Two she cannot wait for him to come home and runs to the door every time she hears a man’s shoes. I’ve spent the last three hours with you, he said curtly. He had put his phone on the charger and was making deep breathing noises indicative of sleep. He would tell me how much he loved me and hoped I had the sweetest dreams. I needed to collect proof that would indicate we were knee deep in the self-evident second stage claimed wouldn’t exist.You have to stand behind a merch table in the back of a crowded club and dodge flying bodies from the mosh pit (true story, had bruises and got punched in the face).If you want to see your boyfriend at all you have to go to everything, and if you miss just one you’re in a ton of trouble and clearly don’t understand his passions. They’re not going to be very good Let’s face it, Justin Timberlake is not knocking on your door (he may be knocking on my sisters, if all goes to plan, but still).